In writing this review, I have been told by my brother that I have committed a sin by watching a post-Matrix Wachowski movie.
(Personally, I enjoyed Speed Racer. I think people were just mad because it wasn't like the Matrix.)
May this review absolve me of my sin.
*Equips Hammer of Smiting*
The story follows a young woman by the name of Jupiter Jones, who is apparently of royal lineage to a family who own a business empire that harvests humans for their DNA. This is so they can preserve their bodies and stay alive for enormous amounts of time.
Story/Dialogue: Aside from the overview above, the story itself is relatively easy to follow, even if you're not paying attention. With this, it's like an episode of Neighbours. For this segment I have two issues.
1. You have a well rounded female character who at times comes off as a Mary Sue and yet at others plays a damsel in distress. JUPITER JONES HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL and yet you made her this inconsistent character who at one point has a photographic memory and then never uses it again. Then at other times she can fight her older brother/son (This will tie in to my second point,) while similarly hide behind her wolf/angel/inline skater bodyguard when things get crazy. I can understand being scared, but having a lump of broody muscle tell this strong female character to get behind him seems like a slap in the face, quite frankly. It makes it difficult to cheer on a character who is so inconsistent.
2. WHY THE FLYING FRACK DO YOU HAVE A CHARACTER TRYING TO MARRY HIS MOTHER/LITTLE SISTER!?
Look, when Boston Legal did it, that was for legal stuff and they were friends. This movie took that same concept and made it SO dang creepy. It doesn't even matter if it's reincarnation. Watching a wedding between siblings/mother & son is just...no. That's not okay.
Cinematography: This is where the movie shone. Visually it is beautiful and rather reminiscent of John Carter (On a visual basis). The CGI was exquisite and the places were wonderful to look at. With that said, I found myself disgruntled by watching Channing Tatum and Sean Bean flying around in discount Gundams. The lighting was excellent and some of the shots in this movie were beautiful.
Audio: While the music didn't stand out in a big way, the choirs during the 'epic battles' added tension to the fight. They made the fights bearable to watch. I think I just enjoy choirs for final fights. I know I'd have a choir in my final fight sequences.
Overall: In reviewing this movie I found a world that had been beautifully crafted, but didn't allow outsiders into it. What I mean is that anything that is going on for the short time that Jupiter goes anywhere off world is rather glazed over. This movie suffers from what I'm now calling, 'Maze Runner Syndrome.' (In that they have an exclusive club of terminology and unless you endure the long expositional initiation, you are forever on the outside.)
My belief is that the Wachowskis have an issue with trilogies. They give us all this information in hope that they can provide better sequels, but since people struggle with anything that isn't the Matrix, they won't get the fanbase needed to have a sequel greenlit.
Furthermore, creating non-existent chemistry between two characters is a horse that has long been beat. Hollywood is literally beating bones, now.
With this in mind, I give this movie 2 stars.
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