Monday, 29 December 2014

(Movies) The Legend and the Fangirl....a look at Hercules (2014)

Since Christopher Nolan, people have been trying to make legends more plausible. Matthew Reilly with his 'Great Zoo of China' and now, Hercules. A realistic take on the legend known around the world of a demi-god who performed 12 labours to obtain godliness.

As a movie I felt this had so much potential.

With all this said, let us begin our usual assessment.

Story/Dialogue: Now, I understand that due to the authenticity of the names, they needed to remind people of them.

BUT THERE IS NO NEED TO INTRODUCE THEM TWICE!

Seriously, the dialogue is arguably the most clunky I have seen to date short of the Room.

Need I remind you that film is about showing, not telling.

What's worse, I struggle to remember the character's names now.

As I said before, Hercules, as a concept, had a lot of potential. I liked how they showed us how he really completed his tasks and found redemption. What's more, I like that he didn't fall in love. But this movie's dialogue was substandard.

Cinematography: With startling vistas and stark colours mashed with more earthy colours, this movie was visual eye candy. The VFX, however, was an eyesore. Looking at it made my eyes bleed.

Audio: This movie did one thing really well. They made it BIG. Everything was big. Actors, places, legends.....but nothing was as big as the audio. The music enhanced the big-ness of the movie, which I thoroughly appreciated.

Overall: Sadly, I cannot say that I was happy with this movie. While I did watch it from beginning to end, I have to say that I did so reluctantly.
This was not the reboot I was looking for.

2 and a half stars.

Monday, 22 December 2014

(Movie) Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey....A look at X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Time travel as a storytelling device requires a lot of planning and considering of all the variables and it can get rather...messy.

For a visual comparison I would point you to any teenager/college student's bedroom. While you can see all the elements there, It doesn't always tie up well. Only the resident of said room knows of the order to the chaos.

In any case, the latest instalment to the X-Men franchise does its best to connect the worlds between X-Men First Class and the trilogy before it. (Wolverine's personal stories do not affect the timeline, which is odd, considering that Stryker was supposed to be working with Wolverine during his own backstory.)

Days of Future Past is the story of racism, time travel and revolution. Wolverine gets sent back in time to change the events during the 60's so as to change the present where mutants are hunted down by giant, adaptable robots.

Story/Dialogue: Frankly, I feel as though the only reason they got away with so many plotholes, (Such as Shadowcat's ability to send people back in time in their mind, Animus style and Professor X even being there in the first place. He was supposed too have died during the third movie!) is because:
1. Changing the timeline meant that the plotholes would no longer exist.
2. First Class was such a big hit, so the director was able to get away with a fair amount.

In saying this, it does not make for good storytelling.

The dialogue felt rushed and messy, as though the theme of the movie was, 'Follow me! There's no time to explain!!!'

Cinematography: This movie is visual confectionery. Loads of bright, intense colours in the 'present.' Blink particularly stands out. In the past, The bright colours are somewhat muted, but still maintain their intensity. The effects, while good, did not stand out as much as the colour palette did. With that said, a VFX stadium would be incredibly time consuming. This does not justify the unremarkability, however.

Audio: Music, in my opinion is supposed to enhance your viewing experience. It's supposed to make the movie you're watching stand out more. When music accompanies appropriately, it plays it safe. If you wanted to create moments of true terror, play something that contrasts the violence with something innocent. The massacre that occurred in front of the White House introducing the Sentinels could have benefited greatly with a minimal, music box accompaniment.

Overall: This movie was not memorable. Even writing this now I had to spend at least ten minutes trying to remember key parts of the movie. They had every opportunity in fleshing out cool characters like Blink and Quicksilver and they wasted it. This movie had a lot of potential. I can only hope that the next movie will be better.

3 out of 5 stars.




(Book) A look at the Collector by John Fowles

This book was incredibly tough to review.

It's like cutting down a tree, except the rings inside are multi-coloured.

In 100 pages, Fowles has included political undertones, Shakespearean references and metaphors upon metaphors. One could read this book 100 times over and still find something new to take from it. 

While brilliantly thought out, it is incredibly messed up. 

Throughout the book we follow the interactions between Fredrick Clegg, who represents the masses and his victim Miranda Grey, who represents the elite.

Shared from both perspectives, this book shows that their points of view are starkly different from one another, communicating in a language the other cannot understand. It almost becomes a game of sorts. One tries to manipulate the other, but both are unwilling to budge, forever at an impasse.

Miranda refers to Clegg as Caliban, a nod to Shakespeare's the Tempest. Caliban in that tale is a demon who is obsessed with Prospero's daughter who is Miranda's namesake.
Clegg refers to himself as Ferdinand, after the man who wins Miranda's (the Tempest version, not the Collector version,) affections. Whether this is intentional of Clegg or not is unknown.

Clegg is an etymologist. He collects butterflies and preserves them. Due to his loneliness and lack of social skills, he believes he can 'collect' Miranda, preserving her in a small room in the countryside.

What he neglects to understand is that when you try and keep something isolated in a cage, it doesn't last long. This applies to animals, plants and people.

If you love something, then it must be free. If you try to keep it to yourself, it suffocates.

Oddly, Clegg's character does not really develop, in that he doesn't learn from his experience, even going so far as to say that he plans to capture another girl.

I enjoy books that make me think. While this book was a device to understand social constructs, (In that people who represent the masses need to be taught out of their false sense of inferiority and the elite need to understand that their status is a responsibility, not merely a state of existence.) it was profoundly disturbing and learning that Clegg didn't learn from his mistake, nor really felt any remorse for what he did made me feel wrong, as though something inside myself had been distorted and bent out of shape.

As a debut novel, it was brilliant. Though I cannot abide lack of character development.

4 out of 5 stars. 




Friday, 19 December 2014

(Movie) Hooked on a Feeling. A look at Guardians of the Galaxy.

Who are these jokers?

This ragtag group who have shown up out of seemingly nowhere, all with their separate goals in mind, end up banding together to defend or 'guard' the galaxy from a fanatic.

This is like....hipster Avengers.

'Oh, these guys are like the Avengers, but you've probably never heard of them. Unless you;'ve played Marvel VS. Capcom or actually read the obscure comics.'

Hipster tone aside, I must analyse this critically. Which I shall do presently.

Story/Dialogue: For the most part, this movie's dialogue made you laugh out loud. Quips from cheerful or cynical characters had excellent comedic timing which showed that this wasn't a superhero movie. This was a comedy in the guise of a superhero movie.
In terms of story, it was simple. This is not bad, however. It feels as though the movie deals with a central theme of equivalent exchange. (In order to gain something, something of equal value must be lost.) Quill dealt with the loss of his mother at a young age and when he was able to deal with it emotionally, gained courage and friends. Each of the heroes in this story has lost something. Their bodies, families, their right to choose. But in being with each other and fighting for a cause, they gain something greater.

Cinematography: Space! Colours! Lights! Oh My! Visually the backdrops in this movie are visual porn. Everything from the intensity of the colour of Kree skin tone, to the dark greens and browns of backdrops created atmosphere that fit the scene.

Audio: A great bunch of tracks from the 60's and 70's. Half remembered songs that toy with the light bulb that dangles in the darker corners of your mind. They fit the feel of the movie. But even as it was a comedy, it knew how to be serious when it called for it, so the tense parts (which were followed closely by thoroughly humorous bits,) were tense when appropriate.

Overall: The comedic timing in this movie is spectacular. This is a movie that knows what it is and simply says, 'Take me as I am.' It's so embarrassingly honest that it's heartwarming. You can't help but get caught up with all these broken misfits and root for them as they blunder their way through 12 percent of a plan.

A brilliant movie.

4 and a half out of 5 stars.

Thursday, 18 December 2014

(Book) Blender Level = 1. A look at the Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer

As I sat down to write this, I felt it very important to make something very clear.

'I don't like biographies.'

The only other biography I have read in my life was an unofficial one on Jackie Chan.

For me, biographies tell the story of a life. It could be a politician, a musician, a movie star, a sports hero. Whatever.

Personally, though it's released for the public to read, the book feels too personal, or in some cases, too grandiose or obnoxious.

To read a biography would be the equivalent of walking in on said person while they're having sex. Having done that a couple of times in the past, it never gets any less embarrassing.

So, I don't like biographies. If I can, I avoid them.

I have a biography on Zelda Fitzgerald I have yet to read at the behest of someone I love dearly. I'm sure I'll get around to it.....eventually.

I spent the better part of a week after buying this book wondering what to expect upon reading Amanda Palmer's -since she wrote it herself- autobiography. Would it be Hunter S. Thompson-esque and involve a room full of people acting out a football game? Would there be dragons?

I was so unsure.

I met Amanda Palmer once. She handed me a flower that I gave to a fellow fan later on. I later sent Ms. Palmer a message on facebook explaining to her that I was so full of words that I didn't quite know how to explain how much I enjoyed her music.

That connection was important in reading this biography.

It felt like we were sitting down, having coffee as she told me about her life, what she'd gone through in order to get where she is.

It was honest, raw and everything I had come to expect from a conversation with a drunk person at 3am, where people are usually at their most honest.

Amanda has successfully created a book in which you are not only taken on a journey, but you're looking right over her shoulder. You're experiencing it with her.

It's like a hardwire direct to her brain in all its colourful chaos.

Amanda has made a book that takes her honest and unadulterated connection to her fanbase and solidifies it into something tangible. Magic that you can hold in your hands.

'Please see me. I'm Real.'

I see you Amanda Fucking Palmer. You're so real it hurts.

And I love you for it.

5 stars.

Thursday, 4 December 2014

(Movie Special!) A look at Tusk. #walrusyes

Never let it be said that Kevin Smith doesn't tackle real issues.

Like a serial killer who wants his old friend back, so he puts them in walrus suits and attempts to psychologically break them.

Combine that with an asshole who is already halfway there and you have TUSK.

With this in mind, let us go over this tale of how man reverts to beast.

Story/Dialogue: Wallace Bryton heads to a backwater town to interview a young man who cut off his own leg with a katana, only to find that the young man has died. With nothing to show for his podcast now, Wallace comes across an old man who has many a tale to tell. Turns out the old man is a serial killer with a bizarre fascination with walruses. As such, rather than simply killing his victims, he maims them and turns them into walruses.

There isn't anything overly fantastic about the dialogue. Thankfully, it wasn't convoluted or required an excessive amount of exposition. I also personally enjoyed some of the funny moments where the clerks made fun of Wallace because he was American or the Border Patrol guy explained to him the little known facts about Canadians. These lightened the mood and filled in spaces where most people would have asked, 'Why the hell is this scene in there?'

Cinematography: Visually, it felt as though Kevin Smith was channelling Bryan Fuller in terms of atmosphere. The colours were rich, yet not overwhelming and the lighting fit the atmosphere well. Not only for continuity's sake, but also for setting the scene.

Audio: Sometimes, silence says more in a scene than any sound ever could. By contrast, this made the audio stand out all the more. The wails of anguish were suitably horrifying and abrupt shifting in character of Howard Howe from pleasant old man to serial killer made it all the more thrilling.

Overall: This story made me question what goes on in the head of someone like Kevin Smith and at the same time applaud his divergent thinking. I can't think of anyone else that I know personally who would come up with something so bizarre. An interesting thriller with humour to ease the tension made this an enjoyable watch.

4.5 out of 5 stars.

(Book) A look at Filth, by Irvine Welsh

What a strange thing it is when a book affects you so heavily that you don't really want to go outside. That it eats away at you from the inside until you feel horrid and in mighty need of a shower or five.

That is what it was like to read Filth.

The book follows the stream of consciousness (Thoughts direct from the person's mind,) of Bruce Robertson, a Detective Sergeant of a Scottish police department. We follow his misadventures as he journeys down the proverbial rabbit hole, sleeping with just about anyone who says yes (Or requires some persuasion,) snorts cocaine and is an all 'round asshole to pretty much everyone he meets.

Now, while this book will invariably eat away at you, the writing device used within this novel is ingenious. This involves a tapeworm that is overlaid in the text throughout the book and the more the story progresses, the more the tapeworm eats away at Bruce. What's brilliant about this is that you feel as Bruce feels. It puts you in the headspace of a man who feels so much anger towards people he meets that when you finally understand why, you don't look upon Bruce with judgement, but with pity.

Spirals of destruction must have an end and the book ends in such a way that leaves you feeling emotionally wrecked, but at the same time, like you've undertaken a great emotional release. You've learnt something from it. You identify and yet you judge with this deplorable human being who is just as filthy as the reader is.

Though our actions are different, we are all Bruce Robertson. Broken, relatable and on our own path of destruction.

I give this book 4 out of 5 stars. Worth the read not only for the writing style, but for the very fact that it makes you feel something, which is what good books do.

Now, excuse me while I go take a shower for the 5th time today.

Monday, 1 December 2014

(Movie) Live Action Cartoons - A look at Hudson Hawke

Never in my life have I come across a movie that made me want to fall asleep (To be fair, the Room is not a movie, but a science experiment,) so much as this one.

Story/Dialogue: Eddie 'Hudson Hawke' Hawkins is a thief who is forcibly tasked with the acquisition of a jewel that is said to turn lead to gold. With the help of his singing compatriot and a flirtatious nun working for the Vatican, he aims to take down the very people who have forced him to do the job.

It seems strange to me that the characters in this movie don't actually stand out from each other. They all seem to try and outweird one another, from the CIA characters with the weird code names (All named after American Candy Bars,) to the main villains, the Mayflowers.

At the mention of the Mayflowers, I would like to point out something important.

BOREDOM IS NOT A PLOT DEVICE!

It does not move the plot forward and doesn't make the villain more evil. If anything, it makes them dull and 2-dimensional. People with low attention spans become bored. Villains who have been born into money do not use it as a motivator. Now, if the villain had an interest in alchemy or history or even Leonardo Da Vinci (Who was said to have created the alchemical device in this story,), that would have made him a more quantifiable and understandable villain.

Furthermore, it is said that Bruce Willis had a hand in the writing of the script. That should tell you all you need to know right there.

Cinematography: Visually, this movie wasn't terrible. Though, you cannot make a quality movie on visuals alone. They were not enough to suspend the illusion of disbelief.

Audio: Some of the dubs for the fight scenes were ones that you would find in your early morning cartoons. While some would find it comical, it takes you out of the movie itself. Throughout the movie, Willis and his companion in crime sing duets to time how long it will take to steal whatever mark they have in mind to take. (They even made a CD!) Other than these, the music didn't really stand out or enhance the overall experience.

Overall: 2 out of 5 stars
This movie wanted it all. It wanted to be a cartoon with the dubs and occasionally silly music, it wanted to be adult by adding swearing and it wanted to be an epic modern quest with its overly complex device that required three parts of a jewel type McGuffin. It also wanted to be a musical, having Willis and his buddy singing together with backing music.

I would not recommend you watch this movie. Save yourself some time and watch the Room. You'd actually learn something.